Therapy for Self-Esteem
In-person therapy in West Los Angeles and online therapy throughout California
Understanding Your Self-Esteem
When people come to therapy feeling not good enough, insecure, or like they’ve lost a sense of who they are, I approach these struggles with compassion and curiosity. Rather than seeing “low self-esteem” as something broken that needs fixing, I see it as a meaningful expression of how you have learned to relate to yourself and to others over time. Self-esteem isn’t about learning to love the image that we need to live up to, but about discovering something more real underneath it, your unique desire and place in the world. Much of our suffering comes from comparing ourselves to ideals of perfection or worthiness that come from outside us. I help you loosen the hold of those ideals, so you can live more freely and define value on your own terms.
Located in West Los Angeles, my practice offers a thoughtful, open space to explore these struggles and gently uncover their deeper, unconscious roots.
Common Signs & Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem
A persistent, critical inner voice or negative self-image.
Chronic self-doubt that makes decisions feel overwhelming.
A deep-seated feeling of being "not good enough" or inadequate.
Difficulty setting boundaries or advocating for your needs.
Struggles with low self-worth in relationships, perhaps fearing abandonment or seeking constant validation.
Perfectionism that leaves you feeling exhausted and never satisfied.
A hesitation to pursue your desires, fearing you will fail or be judged.
My Approach to Working with Self-Esteem
My approach to self-esteem therapy is one of compassion and curiosity. I practice psychoanalytic therapy, a form of depth work focused on understanding the deeper, often unconscious, roots of your emotional life. Together, we won't try to "fix" or "build" your self-esteem with exercises; instead, we'll create a thoughtful and precise space to explore the patterns and histories that have shaped how you relate to yourself.
In our sessions, we will:
Explore the Roots: Listen for the beliefs you hold about your own value and where they came from, linking current feelings of inadequacy to earlier experiences and relational patterns.
Loosen the Grip of Ideals: Work to shed the power of external expectations and the "ideals" you may be comparing yourself to, which fuel your sense of not being good enough.
Define Value on Your Own Terms: Work to make sense of what has been unconscious, allowing you to discover your own unique desire and place in the world so you can live more freely.
The Impact of Low Self-Esteem on Daily Life
The consequences of low self-esteem can be profound. This internal struggle is not just an abstract feeling; it actively shapes your life.
Career: It can hold you back from taking risks in your career, fueling a lack of confidence at work despite your capabilities.
Relationships: It can strain your connections with others, making it difficult to trust, accept love, or be your authentic self.
Presence: This constant internal friction can lead to isolation, loneliness, and a feeling that you are watching your own life from the sidelines, unable to fully participate in it.
Emotional Health: It often co-occurs with feelings of anxiety and depression, making daily life feel heavier and more burdensome.
Frequently Asked Questions about Depression
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In our work, "low self-esteem" is not a diagnosis but a starting point. It often means you have developed a painful, learned way of relating to yourself. These feelings of inadequacy might be rooted in early relationships, difficult life transitions, or internalized societal pressures. Our goal is to understand its specific, unique meaning for you, rather than simply treating it as a symptom.
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Many approaches focus on changing negative thoughts or building skills. While these can be helpful, my psychoanalytic approach is less about managing the surface and more about understanding the deep structure of your suffering. We explore why these thoughts are there in the first place, helping what has been unconscious become known so you can experience lasting, fundamental change and find a more authentic sense of self-worth.
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For adolescents, feelings of low self-esteem in adolescence are often intense and tied to identity formation. Therapy for teens provides a confidential space, separate from family and school, to explore the pressures of peers, academics, and finding their place in the world. We work to help them find their own voice and sense of self amidst the noise of external expectations.